Love without trust?

We're back together.  if you love someone let them go.  i let him go but he just wouldn't stop coming back.
I'm so happy we have our family back. I'm so happy &&i love him just as much..i think......
i keep telling myself you have what you've been praying for!  we are both so in love &&he does all he can to be the best person for me. he makes me happy every chance he gets. he reassures me every time I'm in doubt...but still i doubt...i think...tooooo much.  i fill myself up with the past. i say i forgive him but every time I'm not with him i freak out!  i assume hes lying about every thing now.
we're back together now...&&its not the same.
I never want to be without him again. i don't want to ever go through the hole on&&off.  break up to make up situation again. i love him &&i know he loves me.  but now i don't trust him..
we are &&always have been best friends. even during the time apart we talked everyday. we cant go a day without talking. i didn't have time to think about how it would be when we got back together. now that we are i realize i don't trust him.  i have no reason not to trust him now. but i am so hurt by him that now my mind runs thinking about what he did. i haven't been able to keep the passed in the passed. i forgave but i haven't forgotten.  its making me crazy. he says I'm crazy all the time. he'll say something &&ill over analyze his story so much that it makes me assume things that are all wrong.  if he goes out he has to explain himself or i think hes not telling me because hes hiding something.  he says he needs guy time &&he asks me to understand.  i used to but now i just think when i did understand he was betraying me so whats the difference now?
our relationship was so chill before, so happy, &&care free.  i knew he loved me &&i loved him &&that's all that mattered.  i miss that. i need to let go. 

i had no idea that getting back together would cause a problem.........